1 00:00:08,689 --> 00:00:10,241 ROSA: For the purposes of the recording, 2 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,965 I'm showing Miss Hunter a photograph. 3 00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:15,965 Exhibit reference RH008. 4 00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:18,965 [dramatic music] 5 00:00:19,068 --> 00:00:19,965 ♪ 6 00:00:20,068 --> 00:00:22,413 Why won't you look? 7 00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,206 Why do you think? 8 00:00:26,689 --> 00:00:27,724 Guilt? 9 00:00:30,034 --> 00:00:32,103 I've told you everything that I know. 10 00:00:33,793 --> 00:00:34,896 People are dead. 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:41,000 ♪ 12 00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:45,448 You wait too long to speak up, 13 00:00:45,551 --> 00:00:48,689 you lose control of what happens next. 14 00:00:48,793 --> 00:00:51,827 ♪ 15 00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:54,827 [soft violin music playing] 16 00:00:54,931 --> 00:01:01,000 ♪ 17 00:01:05,586 --> 00:01:08,448 [sweeping orchestral music] 18 00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:12,793 ♪ 19 00:01:12,896 --> 00:01:14,793 [cheers and applause] 20 00:01:14,896 --> 00:01:19,482 ♪ 21 00:01:19,586 --> 00:01:21,793 [door slams shut, dramatic music resumes] 22 00:01:21,896 --> 00:01:24,620 ♪ 23 00:01:24,724 --> 00:01:26,586 [door buzzer] 24 00:01:26,689 --> 00:01:28,103 [door closes] 25 00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:33,827 ♪ 26 00:01:33,931 --> 00:01:35,344 CHARLOTTE: Ems, what's going on? 27 00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:37,724 What are you doing here? Ems, it's 6:00 a.m. 28 00:01:37,827 --> 00:01:39,413 He's having an affair! 29 00:01:41,241 --> 00:01:43,137 That trip to New York? 30 00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:44,551 Total fucking lie! 31 00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:46,000 Come on. 32 00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:48,689 Come on, sit down. Sit down. 33 00:01:48,793 --> 00:01:50,586 Calm. Breathe. 34 00:01:52,275 --> 00:01:53,689 Tell me what happened. 35 00:01:53,793 --> 00:01:55,965 Okay, so... 36 00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:57,586 I was booking a surprise trip 37 00:01:57,689 --> 00:01:59,448 for our fourth wedding anniversary. 38 00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,000 - Yeah? - I went to check to see 39 00:02:01,103 --> 00:02:03,206 if my passport was in date and... 40 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:07,068 right there, next to mine... 41 00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:09,137 was his. 42 00:02:09,241 --> 00:02:11,137 The fuck? 43 00:02:11,241 --> 00:02:12,689 Well, uh... 44 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,620 I'm gonna say something as your best friend. 45 00:02:18,724 --> 00:02:23,655 But, well, maybe Dan just wanted a little bit of... 46 00:02:23,758 --> 00:02:26,620 - me time. - Me time? 47 00:02:26,724 --> 00:02:29,344 Well, it's not like he doesn't have form. 48 00:02:29,448 --> 00:02:31,827 Remember when he told you he was at his mum's, 49 00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:34,586 but he was actually on that bender with Ajay? 50 00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:37,103 - Yeah, that was different. - No. 51 00:02:37,206 --> 00:02:40,689 He's probably with him right now, this second. 52 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:44,827 Sometimes, we all just need to push the pause button. 53 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,241 Dan's just pushing his. 54 00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:50,310 And I think maybe you should do the same. 55 00:02:50,413 --> 00:02:52,586 - Take a pause from Dan? - What? 56 00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:56,103 No. From work, you muppet. 57 00:02:56,206 --> 00:02:59,000 You've not just been, you know, you in ages. 58 00:02:59,103 --> 00:03:02,206 Take a day off. I can cover. 59 00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:04,000 I got you. 60 00:03:06,931 --> 00:03:09,000 Oh, fuck. 61 00:03:11,344 --> 00:03:13,172 What the fuck am I doing here? 62 00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:14,482 It's okay. 63 00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:17,103 I'm so sorry. 64 00:03:17,206 --> 00:03:18,896 - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. 65 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,862 - Go back to bed, please. - Are you sure? 66 00:03:20,965 --> 00:03:22,551 Yes, please. 67 00:03:22,655 --> 00:03:23,517 You can stay if you want. 68 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,137 No. 69 00:03:25,241 --> 00:03:29,137 Let's never speak this ever again. 70 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:31,827 - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. 71 00:03:31,931 --> 00:03:33,931 My God, your skin is so glowing. 72 00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:35,551 Thank you. 73 00:03:35,655 --> 00:03:37,965 - Thank you. - Always. 74 00:03:40,758 --> 00:03:43,379 - I love you. - I love you. 75 00:03:46,724 --> 00:03:48,655 Fuck it. 76 00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:50,310 - What are you doing? - Let's find out. 77 00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:53,413 - Who are you calling? - Dan. 78 00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:57,862 [phone buzzing] 79 00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:06,310 ♪ 80 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,000 Emes, wait! Stop! 81 00:04:08,103 --> 00:04:09,482 It's not what you think! 82 00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:11,000 Please, just listen! 83 00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:13,103 Emes! 84 00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:15,344 Emes, wait! Stop! 85 00:04:15,448 --> 00:04:17,793 Fuck! [gasps] 86 00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:19,655 I'm so sorry, Ems. This is so fucked up. 87 00:04:19,758 --> 00:04:21,793 Will you shut the fuck up? 88 00:04:25,655 --> 00:04:26,931 How-- oh, my God. 89 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,172 Fuck. 90 00:04:29,275 --> 00:04:31,413 Have you been do-- 91 00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:32,896 How long have you been doing-- fuck! 92 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,344 You told us to hang out together. 93 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:35,551 - It's not our fault. - Oh, it's my fault. 94 00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:37,172 Of course it is. Of course it's my fault. 95 00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:38,413 - It's my fault. - Look, we should've told you. 96 00:04:38,517 --> 00:04:39,620 We should've told you. [voice echoing] 97 00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:41,793 We were waiting for the right time. 98 00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:44,827 [Charlotte's voice echoes and fades] 99 00:04:44,931 --> 00:04:49,931 ♪ 100 00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:54,206 ROSA: Emily... tell us what happened. 101 00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:57,965 ♪ 102 00:04:58,068 --> 00:04:59,620 It started with the group. 103 00:04:59,724 --> 00:05:05,758 ♪ 104 00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:46,551 ♪ 105 00:06:12,758 --> 00:06:15,379 [buzzes] 106 00:06:15,482 --> 00:06:17,827 Oh, what the fuck am I doing? 107 00:06:17,931 --> 00:06:20,000 - Oh, my God! - Jesus bloody Christ! 108 00:06:20,103 --> 00:06:22,103 - Where did you come from? - What's your problem? 109 00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:23,827 Well, maybe don't sneak up on people. 110 00:06:23,931 --> 00:06:25,758 Oh, I'm sorry. Did my face hurt your umbrella? 111 00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,758 I've already rung the bell. 112 00:06:31,862 --> 00:06:34,586 [buzzes] 113 00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:43,758 - So you here for the, uh-- - Nope. 114 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,586 Maybe. 115 00:06:45,689 --> 00:06:47,000 Someone's on edge. 116 00:06:48,758 --> 00:06:50,758 Brilliantly observed. Gold star for you. 117 00:06:50,862 --> 00:06:52,482 [door lock buzzes] 118 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,551 Pardon me, Mary Poppins. 119 00:06:57,862 --> 00:07:00,896 MALCOLM: Pain... whispers. 120 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,413 It screams. Tires you out. 121 00:07:03,517 --> 00:07:05,000 Makes you angry. 122 00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:09,344 Makes you wonder if you'll ever feel happy again. 123 00:07:09,448 --> 00:07:15,000 But pain, I promise you, is where healing begins. 124 00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:17,068 [clears throat] Sorry we're late. 125 00:07:17,172 --> 00:07:19,034 Once more and you're out. 126 00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:22,827 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 127 00:07:22,931 --> 00:07:25,620 [Malcolm laughs] 128 00:07:25,724 --> 00:07:27,379 Or am I? 129 00:07:30,068 --> 00:07:31,379 Come, please. 130 00:07:40,482 --> 00:07:44,379 Welcome to Divorce Support Circle. 131 00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:46,344 I'm Malcolm, Sagittarius, 132 00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:50,172 licensed therapist, and divorce survivor. 133 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,793 Now, over the next eight sessions, 134 00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:59,551 we're here to figure out how to stop being angry 135 00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:02,724 and start moving on. 136 00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:04,931 And as punishment for being late, 137 00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:08,724 why don't you kick us off? 138 00:08:08,827 --> 00:08:11,379 What's your name and what brings you here? 139 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:16,103 Emily. 140 00:08:16,206 --> 00:08:20,413 Uh... Taurus. 141 00:08:20,517 --> 00:08:22,620 PR direct-- 142 00:08:22,724 --> 00:08:25,206 former PR director. 143 00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:27,241 MALCOLM: Okay. Good, Emily. 144 00:08:27,344 --> 00:08:28,724 [chuckles] 145 00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:30,413 What about you, madam? 146 00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:32,103 - Me? - Yeah. 147 00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:34,862 Oh, um, hi. Hello, everyone. 148 00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:36,965 I'm... I'm Rachel Koffman. 149 00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:38,655 And I'm just really happy to be here. 150 00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:40,413 It's really nice to meet you all. 151 00:08:40,517 --> 00:08:43,344 Well, what to say about me? 152 00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:47,689 Well, I'm a mum to two gorgeous children, Lula and Joshy. 153 00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:50,482 And, well, I dog-sit for my parents, 154 00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:51,965 their three little pups. 155 00:08:52,068 --> 00:08:53,965 There's Chandler and Monica 156 00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:55,758 and Schnorbitz the Third. 157 00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:57,793 Sorry, I'm babbling. 158 00:08:57,896 --> 00:08:59,448 It's just because I'm shitting it. 159 00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:00,689 Oh, shit, sorry, sorry. 160 00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:01,965 Are you allowed to swear here? 161 00:09:02,068 --> 00:09:04,241 Oh, swearing is obligatory, Rachel. 162 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,896 Oh, phew. 163 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,413 [lighter flicking] 164 00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:10,310 MALCOLM: What about you, sir? 165 00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:13,931 I'm Calum. 166 00:09:14,034 --> 00:09:16,724 My ex, um... 167 00:09:16,827 --> 00:09:18,862 I could never do anything right. 168 00:09:18,965 --> 00:09:22,551 And when the money ran out, so did she. 169 00:09:22,655 --> 00:09:24,793 I have a daughter, Bella. 170 00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:30,758 It's the only thing that's kept me going this last year. 171 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:34,827 And no matter how messy it gets... 172 00:09:34,931 --> 00:09:37,068 she'll always know I'm there. 173 00:09:37,172 --> 00:09:39,344 MALCOLM: Thank you, Calum. Thank you. 174 00:09:42,551 --> 00:09:44,793 Steven. 175 00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:48,137 Former Sergeant Major, British Army. 176 00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:50,310 26 years. 177 00:09:50,413 --> 00:09:52,896 Mainly infantry. 178 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,241 Married to Sue for 20. 179 00:09:59,103 --> 00:10:02,068 Look, I'll be honest with you. 180 00:10:02,172 --> 00:10:04,758 I'm an imposter. 181 00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:08,413 My old man said that when women reach 40, 182 00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:10,517 they all go mad. 183 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,965 And that's what's happened to Sue. 184 00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:16,344 She told me to come here, so that's why I'm here. 185 00:10:16,448 --> 00:10:22,034 And hopefully she'll get over all this... nonsense. 186 00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:25,000 And... yeah. 187 00:10:26,931 --> 00:10:29,655 MALCOLM: Good work, Steven. Is it Steve or Steven? 188 00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:33,344 Steven. With a "V." 189 00:10:33,448 --> 00:10:34,655 Very good. 190 00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:38,103 Yo! 191 00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:40,965 What about you, bro? 192 00:10:41,068 --> 00:10:43,655 Um... 193 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:45,758 I'm Tej. 194 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,724 Sorry, Tej. Do you mind? 195 00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:55,620 Been divorced 6 months... 16 days. 196 00:10:55,724 --> 00:10:57,448 Oh, my God, you're so young. 197 00:10:57,551 --> 00:11:00,172 - Okay, thank you. - Sorry, sorry. 198 00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:08,517 You know, I think about it sometimes. 199 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:13,103 Just making her go through what I've gone through. 200 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,724 [lighter flicking] 201 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,965 Okay, that's not quite the kind of thing 202 00:11:22,068 --> 00:11:24,379 we're aiming for, Tej. 203 00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:26,965 Let's refocus, shall we? 204 00:11:27,068 --> 00:11:29,827 Right, great intros, everyone, thank you. 205 00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:32,448 - [clears throat] - Now, I-- oh, oh. 206 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:36,275 I'm so sorry. Please. 207 00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:39,000 Rita, records clerk. Nice to meet you all. 208 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,379 Oh, I'm, um... 209 00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:48,758 I'm here because... 210 00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,620 I'm here. 211 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:53,586 Thank you, Rita. 212 00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:57,862 Right. Let's see... 213 00:11:57,965 --> 00:12:01,206 if we can turn all that chaos, yeah, 214 00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:03,275 into clarity 215 00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:06,379 with an exercise Malcolm likes to call... 216 00:12:06,482 --> 00:12:08,620 the Pain-to-Power Pivot. 217 00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:11,793 Pain-to-Power Pivot. Oh! 218 00:12:11,896 --> 00:12:13,275 - Good. - Yes! 219 00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:14,758 That's the kind of energy we need. 220 00:12:14,862 --> 00:12:17,275 Okay, everyone, up on their feet. 221 00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,344 [glass dinging] 222 00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,862 [foil squeaking] 223 00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:36,896 Ready salted? Really? 224 00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:41,206 Backbone of the British crisp. 225 00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:45,000 Undisputed king of the salty snack. 226 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:50,137 Nah. Salt and vinegar. 227 00:12:50,241 --> 00:12:52,896 Top of the league. Unbeatable. 228 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:57,551 Categorically and statistically, you're both wrong. 229 00:12:57,655 --> 00:12:58,724 Cheese and onion are the best. 230 00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:00,965 Riveting conversation. 231 00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:05,034 I bet all you eat is that posh hand-cooked pish, Poppins. 232 00:13:05,137 --> 00:13:06,551 No. 233 00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:15,517 I think we're forgetting our manners. 234 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,517 Thanks for the snacks, Karen. 235 00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:20,482 [mouthing silently] Rita. 236 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,862 My wife would love this place. 237 00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:32,034 She's got a thing for beams and low ceilings. 238 00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:37,586 Beams are lovely. 239 00:13:37,689 --> 00:13:40,068 Wish I'd used one to cave in my ex's brains. 240 00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:48,620 Sorry. 241 00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:51,551 [laughs] 242 00:13:51,655 --> 00:13:52,827 CALUM: Cheers to that! 243 00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:55,931 [laughter] 244 00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:16,620 WOMAN: Good morning. Message for Emily Hunter. 245 00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:19,137 It's Haverleigh Homes estate agents here again. 246 00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:21,310 We urgently need your key for Ivy Cottage 247 00:14:21,413 --> 00:14:23,482 as the completion is today. 248 00:14:23,586 --> 00:14:24,793 Can you please return it this morning? 249 00:14:24,896 --> 00:14:28,172 - Thank you. - [phone beeps] 250 00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:34,241 ♪ 251 00:14:42,896 --> 00:14:46,241 [vehicle approaching] 252 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,310 [car doors closing] 253 00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:54,379 [indistinct chatter] 254 00:14:56,586 --> 00:14:58,827 No... no, please, no. 255 00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:04,137 ♪ 256 00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:06,965 [indistinct chatter and laughter] 257 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:12,586 ♪ 258 00:15:12,689 --> 00:15:14,793 - What the fuck? - Please, look, Ems. 259 00:15:14,896 --> 00:15:16,448 It wasn't selling and we needed somewhere 260 00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:18,034 - to live with the baby. - You bought our fucking home? 261 00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:19,310 You'll still get your money. 262 00:15:19,413 --> 00:15:20,655 CHARLOTTE: Daddy bought it for us. 263 00:15:20,758 --> 00:15:22,206 How could you not tell me? 264 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,310 Come on, Ems, just don't start. 265 00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:27,068 Oh, I'm sorry, Dan. Am I making a scene? 266 00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:28,482 Oh, I cannot deal with this. 267 00:15:28,586 --> 00:15:30,206 - Baby. - EMILY: Wow. 268 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:37,000 You took my Dan, my job, and my home. 269 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,689 Congratulations, you conniving, evil, 270 00:15:39,793 --> 00:15:41,620 fucking two-faced cow. 271 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:46,586 I did everything for you. 272 00:15:46,689 --> 00:15:48,793 I found this house. 273 00:15:48,896 --> 00:15:50,551 Like I found your wedding venue 274 00:15:50,655 --> 00:15:54,034 and your honeymoon and even your shoes. 275 00:15:54,137 --> 00:15:58,344 You let me be your sidekick, your shadow. 276 00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:01,965 You're my best friend. I loved you. 277 00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:04,137 You loved me being small, 278 00:16:04,241 --> 00:16:05,689 so you could feel big. 279 00:16:05,793 --> 00:16:08,482 ♪ 280 00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:09,931 Come on, babe. 281 00:16:10,034 --> 00:16:16,000 ♪ 282 00:16:22,517 --> 00:16:25,482 [intense drumming] 283 00:16:30,551 --> 00:16:34,068 MALCOLM: "I" is for "isolation." 284 00:16:34,172 --> 00:16:37,586 "V," "volatility." 285 00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:42,275 "O" is for "overanalysis." 286 00:16:42,379 --> 00:16:45,965 "R," "resignation." 287 00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:49,379 "C" is for "clarity." 288 00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:51,827 Maybe this had to happen. 289 00:16:53,517 --> 00:16:55,827 And finally, "E." 290 00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,103 "Emergence." 291 00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:06,482 And these are Malcolm's Seven Stages of DIVORCE. 292 00:17:06,586 --> 00:17:07,758 Wow. 293 00:17:07,862 --> 00:17:09,551 Do we have to call it that? 294 00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:13,344 Don't say the word, mate. Just gives it power. 295 00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:15,517 Like Voldemort. 296 00:17:16,689 --> 00:17:20,724 It's not fear. I just hate it. 297 00:17:20,827 --> 00:17:22,551 It's an arsehole of a word. 298 00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:24,689 Just say it. "Divorce." 299 00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,241 It's like sand. 300 00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,896 It's all dry and scratchy in your mouth. 301 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,827 RACHEL: No, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. 302 00:17:32,931 --> 00:17:33,862 Take me and Jack. 303 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:36,206 We uncoupled four months ago. 304 00:17:36,310 --> 00:17:39,103 And, um... 305 00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:42,517 it's... it's fine. It's been fine. 306 00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,793 You know, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. 307 00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:46,758 These things are just meant to be. 308 00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:49,000 You know, the important thing to remember 309 00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:52,034 is that divorce isn't a cliff. 310 00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,517 No, no, no. 311 00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:55,241 [voices distort and echo] It's wide and open 312 00:17:55,344 --> 00:17:57,241 like a corridor. 313 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,931 RACHEL: Oh, I couldn't agree more, Malcolm. 314 00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,689 I've actually read all the books. 315 00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:02,724 - MALCOLM: Corridor. - RACHEL: Lean In, Lean Out. 316 00:18:02,827 --> 00:18:04,793 Divorce for Dummies Who Married One. 317 00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:06,344 - The Art of Uncoupling. - [cacophony builds] 318 00:18:06,448 --> 00:18:08,448 Divorce Your Past, Not Your Future. 319 00:18:08,551 --> 00:18:10,310 - Books do not help. - Divorce. 320 00:18:10,413 --> 00:18:12,413 You can do anything you want when you get the right tip here. 321 00:18:12,517 --> 00:18:16,275 [voices overlapping, lighter flicking] 322 00:18:16,379 --> 00:18:18,310 [gasping] 323 00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:23,896 Hey. 324 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:33,482 ♪ 325 00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:50,620 So, I went to the house, dropped the keys off, 326 00:18:50,724 --> 00:18:52,758 and there they all were. 327 00:18:52,862 --> 00:18:56,275 Turns out her parents had bought them the house. 328 00:18:56,379 --> 00:18:57,586 Dan's name might be on the deeds, 329 00:18:57,689 --> 00:19:00,517 but he hadn't even bothered telling me. 330 00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:02,344 What kind of people do that? 331 00:19:03,965 --> 00:19:06,172 So your best friend stole your husband? 332 00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:09,137 And then she stole your company? 333 00:19:09,241 --> 00:19:10,655 [sighs] 334 00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:13,827 I couldn't face work for months and then... 335 00:19:13,931 --> 00:19:16,241 her dad offered me peanuts to buy it 336 00:19:16,344 --> 00:19:19,103 just to keep the lights on apparently but... 337 00:19:19,206 --> 00:19:21,068 I was too wrecked to care, you know? 338 00:19:21,172 --> 00:19:23,862 And now they're both living in your house? 339 00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,620 Put everything into that place. 340 00:19:28,724 --> 00:19:30,689 Everything. 341 00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:32,689 That is brutal. 342 00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:36,206 You just want to hurt them, don't you? 343 00:19:36,310 --> 00:19:38,000 Scream at them. 344 00:19:39,862 --> 00:19:42,344 Make them feel what you feel. 345 00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:48,103 I've got a confession. 346 00:19:48,206 --> 00:19:50,206 I'm not here by choice. 347 00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:52,689 I was ordered by a court, 348 00:19:52,793 --> 00:19:58,379 because I may have punched Charlotte in the face. 349 00:19:58,482 --> 00:20:00,448 - [laughter] - What? 350 00:20:00,551 --> 00:20:04,275 ♪ 351 00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:05,620 [Emily grunts] 352 00:20:05,724 --> 00:20:08,413 - CALUM: What? - RACHEL: No! 353 00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:10,103 [laughter] 354 00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:13,068 - TEJ: All right. - CALUM: All right. 355 00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,137 I faked a pest control license 356 00:20:15,241 --> 00:20:18,689 so I could inspect the TikTok tart's flat... 357 00:20:18,793 --> 00:20:21,103 and found his clothes in there. 358 00:20:21,206 --> 00:20:23,000 - Shit. - RACHEL: Ohh! 359 00:20:23,103 --> 00:20:26,896 Well, I... I spent thousands 360 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,310 on Madame Selene's mystic tarot readings. 361 00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:33,862 And I... I don't even believe in that crap. 362 00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:36,586 [laughter] 363 00:20:36,689 --> 00:20:38,068 RACHEL: Don't believe in it. 364 00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:43,413 I watched Mamma Mia! 17 times in a row. 365 00:20:43,517 --> 00:20:45,172 RACHEL: Aww. It's a lovely film. 366 00:20:45,275 --> 00:20:49,137 I don't know why. I just, I couldn't stop it. 367 00:20:49,241 --> 00:20:51,931 I slept in my wedding suit for a month after she dumped me. 368 00:20:54,310 --> 00:20:56,724 I keep buying her favorite biscuits out of habit. 369 00:21:00,068 --> 00:21:01,310 I don't even like them. 370 00:21:02,965 --> 00:21:05,000 I mean, why do they just get to move on 371 00:21:05,103 --> 00:21:08,758 and we just sit here? 372 00:21:08,862 --> 00:21:10,413 Karma will get them. 373 00:21:10,517 --> 00:21:12,103 Karma's a concept. 374 00:21:12,206 --> 00:21:15,758 But revenge... 375 00:21:15,862 --> 00:21:20,379 [heartbeat thumping] 376 00:21:20,482 --> 00:21:21,448 That's real. 377 00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:24,517 [heartbeat continues] 378 00:21:27,275 --> 00:21:29,241 [lighter flicking] 379 00:21:34,206 --> 00:21:36,793 Maybe it's time Dan and Charlotte 380 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:38,827 got a wee taste of their own medicine. 381 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:42,689 ♪ 382 00:21:42,793 --> 00:21:45,517 - You're not serious. - I'm sorry. 383 00:21:45,620 --> 00:21:47,758 You can't treat people like that 384 00:21:47,862 --> 00:21:50,724 and expect to get away with it. 385 00:21:50,827 --> 00:21:53,310 Just, it's not right. 386 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:55,827 Just, you know what I'm saying? 387 00:21:55,931 --> 00:21:59,137 Let's... mess with them a little bit, eh? 388 00:22:01,413 --> 00:22:02,517 But what could I do? 389 00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:04,068 STEVE: Not "I." 390 00:22:05,344 --> 00:22:07,034 'Cause you won't be alone. 391 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,172 An eye for an eye. 392 00:22:15,379 --> 00:22:16,758 Yeah, okay. 393 00:22:16,862 --> 00:22:22,862 ♪ 394 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,379 I'm in. 395 00:22:25,482 --> 00:22:27,827 Come on, Poppins. 396 00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:30,931 If you could wish for anything... 397 00:22:31,034 --> 00:22:34,034 anything... 398 00:22:34,137 --> 00:22:36,241 what would it be? 399 00:22:36,344 --> 00:22:42,000 ♪ 400 00:22:42,103 --> 00:22:47,551 Get... them... out of my house. 401 00:22:47,655 --> 00:22:50,310 - [Steven drums table] - CALUM: Damn right. 402 00:22:50,413 --> 00:22:52,862 Damn right. 403 00:22:52,965 --> 00:22:55,068 STEVE: Right. Operation Ivy Cottage. 404 00:22:55,172 --> 00:22:57,862 We need to lay the groundwork first. 405 00:22:57,965 --> 00:22:59,931 We need to know her weak spots. 406 00:23:00,034 --> 00:23:01,965 EMILY: She's proper new age. You know, crystals, 407 00:23:02,068 --> 00:23:03,655 chakras and all that woo-woo shit. 408 00:23:03,758 --> 00:23:06,000 STEVE: Wanker. We can work with that. 409 00:23:06,103 --> 00:23:09,931 Use it to rattle her, drive her to the edge. 410 00:23:10,034 --> 00:23:11,689 Watch the mandala, it's an original. 411 00:23:11,793 --> 00:23:13,137 STEVE: Phase one. 412 00:23:13,241 --> 00:23:14,931 Strip the life, leave the bricks. 413 00:23:15,034 --> 00:23:16,068 Dan, come here! 414 00:23:16,172 --> 00:23:17,620 Remove the anchors. 415 00:23:17,724 --> 00:23:19,206 Make the home feel hollow. 416 00:23:19,310 --> 00:23:20,586 CHARLOTTE: You need to find it! 417 00:23:20,689 --> 00:23:21,931 MAN: Madam, you called and cancelled 418 00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:23,344 - your removal this morning. - What? 419 00:23:23,448 --> 00:23:25,655 Oh, for fuck's sake! What are you on about? 420 00:23:25,758 --> 00:23:27,724 You were there, I watched you pack up all my stuff. 421 00:23:27,827 --> 00:23:29,517 You need to sort this right now. 422 00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:31,448 MAN: There's nothing to sort. It's logged right here. 423 00:23:31,551 --> 00:23:33,758 - STEVE: Phase two. - Hi, my lovely. 424 00:23:33,862 --> 00:23:36,724 STEVE: To flush 'em out, we flush ourselves in. 425 00:23:36,827 --> 00:23:38,655 I'm actually the tarot reader. 426 00:23:38,758 --> 00:23:40,862 I'm... I'm Esme Nocturne. 427 00:23:40,965 --> 00:23:42,379 - I am. - Yeah? 428 00:23:42,482 --> 00:23:43,827 Into that sort of thing, yeah. 429 00:23:43,931 --> 00:23:46,793 - Oh! - Uh, come in. 430 00:23:46,896 --> 00:23:48,310 STEVE: Plant the seeds. 431 00:23:48,413 --> 00:23:51,344 Little sign here. Little warning there. 432 00:23:51,448 --> 00:23:53,344 Past ain't finished with her. 433 00:23:53,448 --> 00:23:55,344 The tarot suggests sudden change. 434 00:23:55,448 --> 00:23:58,275 Upheaval. Resistance. 435 00:23:58,379 --> 00:24:01,620 Like, you know, staying in a place we're not meant to. 436 00:24:01,724 --> 00:24:04,206 But we've only just moved in. 437 00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,551 We're not going anywhere. 438 00:24:05,655 --> 00:24:07,103 Oh! 439 00:24:07,206 --> 00:24:08,862 I didn't necessarily mean the house, 440 00:24:08,965 --> 00:24:10,724 but interesting that your mind went there first. 441 00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:17,137 Ooh... yeah. 442 00:24:17,241 --> 00:24:22,448 The cards are saying... you can't outrun your shadow. 443 00:24:22,551 --> 00:24:23,689 STEVE: Phase three. 444 00:24:23,793 --> 00:24:25,482 - [loud thudding] - Sow doubt. 445 00:24:25,586 --> 00:24:28,724 Feed a paranoia until she can't trust her own shadow. 446 00:24:28,827 --> 00:24:30,310 All done here. 447 00:24:30,413 --> 00:24:32,103 Happy to report no signs of rodent activity 448 00:24:32,206 --> 00:24:33,965 and we sealed all potential entry points. 449 00:24:34,068 --> 00:24:36,379 That should keep the street infestation out for now. 450 00:24:38,482 --> 00:24:42,379 All my security cameras are in position. 451 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:46,379 Watch this. Ta-da. 452 00:24:46,482 --> 00:24:48,724 STEVE: And once we've done that, phase four, 453 00:24:48,827 --> 00:24:51,206 the tipping point, something visceral, 454 00:24:51,310 --> 00:24:55,827 her greatest fear, the point of no return. 455 00:24:55,931 --> 00:24:59,068 And then we strike, tomorrow night. 456 00:24:59,172 --> 00:25:01,103 - Sound good? - Calum! 457 00:25:04,620 --> 00:25:06,965 - Calum! - Yo! 458 00:25:07,068 --> 00:25:08,758 I've got the payload for you! 459 00:25:08,862 --> 00:25:10,344 Come on up! 460 00:25:13,862 --> 00:25:15,310 Stairs! 461 00:25:22,965 --> 00:25:24,862 CALUM: Why didn't you come up? 462 00:25:24,965 --> 00:25:26,482 EMILY: Uh, height's not for me. 463 00:25:26,586 --> 00:25:28,137 Ah, that's fair. 464 00:25:28,241 --> 00:25:30,586 You know, roofings in the top ten most dangerous jobs. 465 00:25:30,689 --> 00:25:32,275 Dick Van Dyke made it look easy. 466 00:25:32,379 --> 00:25:35,620 Yeah, he was a chimney sweep, Poppins, not a roofer. 467 00:25:35,724 --> 00:25:37,862 - [rats squeaking] - Oh-ho-ho-ho! 468 00:25:37,965 --> 00:25:40,206 Oh, you little beauties. 469 00:25:42,206 --> 00:25:45,517 Thanks for dropping them off. 470 00:25:45,620 --> 00:25:47,344 Can you imagine? 471 00:25:47,448 --> 00:25:49,793 Dan and Charlotte, romantic dinner. 472 00:25:49,896 --> 00:25:51,482 Chill music playing. 473 00:25:51,586 --> 00:25:53,034 Then all the lights go out. 474 00:25:53,137 --> 00:25:55,172 I drop these babies down the chimney. 475 00:25:55,275 --> 00:25:57,206 And all you can hear is these bad boys 476 00:25:57,310 --> 00:25:59,827 scratching and scampering. 477 00:25:59,931 --> 00:26:02,137 See, when Tej hits the lights again, 478 00:26:02,241 --> 00:26:05,310 and these wee guys are doing the conga across the table, 479 00:26:05,413 --> 00:26:08,758 well, by that point, I'd be looking for a new postcode. 480 00:26:08,862 --> 00:26:11,206 [both laugh] 481 00:26:11,310 --> 00:26:13,448 You do realize the whole thing is insane, right? 482 00:26:13,551 --> 00:26:15,448 Yeah. Fun, though. 483 00:26:17,689 --> 00:26:20,448 - What if it goes wrong? - Ah, it won't. 484 00:26:20,551 --> 00:26:24,379 Anyway, you won't be there, so no-one can pin it on you. 485 00:26:24,482 --> 00:26:26,482 Still can't believe you guys are doing this for me. 486 00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:28,275 Don't flatter yourself. 487 00:26:28,379 --> 00:26:29,620 We're all selfish, broken buggers. 488 00:26:29,724 --> 00:26:31,517 We're doing it for ourselves. 489 00:26:34,896 --> 00:26:37,620 But, honestly, just say the word and it's off. 490 00:26:39,586 --> 00:26:41,586 I think Steve will have four simultaneous strokes 491 00:26:41,689 --> 00:26:43,689 if I back out now. 492 00:26:43,793 --> 00:26:44,931 Yeah, he's proper intense, isn't he? 493 00:26:45,034 --> 00:26:48,000 Mm-hm. Are you scared of him? 494 00:26:48,103 --> 00:26:49,655 A wee bit. You? 495 00:26:49,758 --> 00:26:52,068 - Yeah, I mean, yeah. - [laughs] 496 00:26:52,172 --> 00:26:55,206 Right. 6:30 tomorrow night. 497 00:26:55,310 --> 00:26:58,758 [exhales] It's a lot, isn't it? 498 00:27:01,413 --> 00:27:05,137 Everything. [stammers] 499 00:27:05,241 --> 00:27:07,000 I just want it to stop. 500 00:27:10,793 --> 00:27:14,413 You know, you're not at all what I expected. 501 00:27:14,517 --> 00:27:16,241 Same. 502 00:27:18,724 --> 00:27:21,241 [phone buzzing] BELLA: Dad, you're so extra. 503 00:27:21,344 --> 00:27:23,793 Dad, you're so-- 504 00:27:23,896 --> 00:27:26,068 It's my daughter. I need to go. 505 00:27:26,172 --> 00:27:29,000 She's lucky. My dad didn't give a shit. 506 00:27:30,758 --> 00:27:32,965 [drums playing arrhythmically] 507 00:27:42,413 --> 00:27:46,068 I thought maybe this would cheer you up. 508 00:27:46,172 --> 00:27:49,827 You're always kind of... sad. 509 00:27:54,724 --> 00:27:58,034 Before you, I didn't even know what happy was. 510 00:28:00,551 --> 00:28:04,206 So if I ever seem sad, it's just because I miss you. 511 00:28:04,310 --> 00:28:07,034 Okay? 512 00:28:07,137 --> 00:28:10,034 [drums playing] 513 00:28:10,137 --> 00:28:12,000 Oh! 514 00:28:12,103 --> 00:28:13,310 Nearly forgot. 515 00:28:13,413 --> 00:28:16,310 I, uh... 516 00:28:16,413 --> 00:28:17,965 made you these. 517 00:28:19,413 --> 00:28:20,758 Wow. 518 00:28:20,862 --> 00:28:23,379 - A not totally rubbish present. - Mm-mm, no. 519 00:28:23,482 --> 00:28:26,000 I put your name on them so nobody can nick them. 520 00:28:26,103 --> 00:28:28,344 That's so cool. 521 00:28:28,448 --> 00:28:31,137 I'll use them tomorrow. 522 00:28:31,241 --> 00:28:33,379 What's happening tomorrow? 523 00:28:33,482 --> 00:28:35,448 You are coming, right? 524 00:28:36,896 --> 00:28:41,137 Yeah, it's just, um... Yeah, your mum-- 525 00:28:41,241 --> 00:28:43,448 I'm sure your mum said it was next week. 526 00:28:43,551 --> 00:28:45,103 I forgot that was tomorrow. Um... 527 00:28:45,206 --> 00:28:49,344 It's just, you always say you'll do stuff, but... 528 00:28:51,620 --> 00:28:53,965 I'll be there. All right? 529 00:28:55,620 --> 00:28:57,172 I swear. 530 00:28:57,275 --> 00:28:58,896 [door closes] 531 00:29:02,931 --> 00:29:05,068 Come in. Mmm! 532 00:29:10,862 --> 00:29:12,482 Why didn't you tell me about the show? 533 00:29:12,586 --> 00:29:13,758 You said it was next week. 534 00:29:13,862 --> 00:29:17,448 And it's called co-parenting, Calum. 535 00:29:17,551 --> 00:29:20,379 You're supposed to know this stuff without me. 536 00:29:20,482 --> 00:29:22,586 It's here. It starts tomorrow at 8:00. 537 00:29:22,689 --> 00:29:26,517 8:00? Okay, good. 538 00:29:26,620 --> 00:29:27,931 All right, um... 539 00:29:28,034 --> 00:29:29,310 shall we go as a family? 540 00:29:29,413 --> 00:29:32,655 Bella? Come on, gonna be late. 541 00:29:32,758 --> 00:29:34,344 - Bye, Dad. - Bye, darling. 542 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,448 See you tomorrow. 543 00:29:51,103 --> 00:29:53,724 [electronic trilling] 544 00:29:53,827 --> 00:29:56,827 [countdown clock beeping] 545 00:30:01,310 --> 00:30:03,275 [vehicle approaching] 546 00:30:06,034 --> 00:30:08,000 [vehicle door opens and closes] 547 00:30:11,068 --> 00:30:12,482 - SUE: Oh, thank you. - BEZ: My lady. 548 00:30:12,586 --> 00:30:14,068 SUE: You're too sweet. 549 00:30:14,172 --> 00:30:16,068 [indistinct chatter] 550 00:30:16,172 --> 00:30:18,206 SUE: Careful. Not outside. 551 00:30:32,758 --> 00:30:36,448 - Really? - Yeah, really. 552 00:30:36,551 --> 00:30:37,793 I'm still her husband. 553 00:30:39,482 --> 00:30:41,172 Not where it counts. 554 00:30:41,275 --> 00:30:47,241 ♪ 555 00:31:01,206 --> 00:31:03,241 ♪ All she wants... 556 00:31:03,344 --> 00:31:05,689 Too much? 557 00:31:05,793 --> 00:31:07,793 Who are you trying to impress? 558 00:31:07,896 --> 00:31:10,275 Everyone coming has known us forever. 559 00:31:10,379 --> 00:31:13,206 They know you, and they know me, but this is the first time 560 00:31:13,310 --> 00:31:15,758 they're coming to our home and meeting us. 561 00:31:15,862 --> 00:31:17,689 They are our friends. 562 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:18,758 They were her friends, too. 563 00:31:18,862 --> 00:31:20,793 And this was her home, and... 564 00:31:20,896 --> 00:31:23,448 - [Dan laughs] - What? 565 00:31:23,551 --> 00:31:25,620 We are good people. 566 00:31:25,724 --> 00:31:28,000 All we're guilty of is falling in love. 567 00:31:28,103 --> 00:31:30,620 And I... 568 00:31:30,724 --> 00:31:33,034 love... 569 00:31:33,137 --> 00:31:34,379 us. 570 00:31:36,517 --> 00:31:37,793 I love us, too. 571 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,758 ♪ The lights shine above 572 00:31:41,413 --> 00:31:43,103 [dramatic music] 573 00:31:43,206 --> 00:31:45,379 [radio static over headphones] 574 00:31:45,482 --> 00:31:46,551 Right. Listen up. 575 00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:49,310 Timeline check. 1901 hours. 576 00:31:49,413 --> 00:31:51,586 Tej, switch on the wedding music. 577 00:31:51,689 --> 00:31:53,724 1902 hours. Kill the lights. 578 00:31:53,827 --> 00:31:56,620 1903 hours. Calum, rat drop. 579 00:31:56,724 --> 00:31:58,827 1904 hours. Lights back on. 580 00:31:58,931 --> 00:32:02,137 All units clear by 1905 hours. 581 00:32:02,241 --> 00:32:05,137 1945 hours. Rendezvous at Emily's. 582 00:32:05,241 --> 00:32:06,551 Roger. And out. 583 00:32:06,655 --> 00:32:09,931 [doorbell rings] 584 00:32:10,034 --> 00:32:12,448 - Okay, all right. - Come on. 585 00:32:12,551 --> 00:32:15,517 ♪ 586 00:32:15,620 --> 00:32:17,344 - You look nice. - Sorry? 587 00:32:17,448 --> 00:32:20,448 Nothing. 588 00:32:20,551 --> 00:32:22,482 - [earpiece beeps] - Shit. 589 00:32:22,586 --> 00:32:23,517 My friends. 590 00:32:23,620 --> 00:32:25,793 [indistinct chatter on video] 591 00:32:25,896 --> 00:32:27,413 Can I get anybody anything to drink? 592 00:32:29,103 --> 00:32:31,000 Right. Listen up, everyone. 593 00:32:31,103 --> 00:32:32,793 No one mess up tonight, okay? 594 00:32:32,896 --> 00:32:34,379 Thank God you said something, 595 00:32:34,482 --> 00:32:38,689 because I was absolutely planning on screwing this up. 596 00:32:38,793 --> 00:32:41,103 - [rats squeaking] - Come on, lads, let's do this. 597 00:32:41,206 --> 00:32:44,000 RACHEL: My heart is literally exploding. 598 00:32:44,103 --> 00:32:48,034 Can you die of panic? Actually die of panic? 599 00:32:48,137 --> 00:32:49,896 - Refreshments? - Hi. 600 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,689 Hi, it's Rita. Yeah. 601 00:32:52,793 --> 00:32:54,344 More guests arrived. 602 00:32:54,448 --> 00:32:56,551 I'll give you the all clear when everyone's inside. 603 00:32:56,655 --> 00:32:58,137 - Copy. - Sorry. 604 00:32:58,241 --> 00:33:01,068 - Roger. Off. - Copy. 605 00:33:01,172 --> 00:33:03,172 Please confirm your position, 00-Calum. 606 00:33:06,310 --> 00:33:09,793 Regretting every life choice that led me to this moment. 607 00:33:09,896 --> 00:33:11,413 - I'm ready as I'll ever be. - Great. 608 00:33:11,517 --> 00:33:14,137 - Right on schedule. - STEVE: Stand by, team. 609 00:33:14,241 --> 00:33:15,724 Here we go. 610 00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:18,379 [electronic trilling] 611 00:33:18,482 --> 00:33:20,758 - [phone buzzing] - BELLA: Dad, you're so extra. 612 00:33:20,862 --> 00:33:22,862 Dad, you're so extra. 613 00:33:22,965 --> 00:33:25,517 [rat squeaking] 614 00:33:25,620 --> 00:33:27,448 Bex, you... 615 00:33:31,862 --> 00:33:33,586 - Calum? - Shit. 616 00:33:33,689 --> 00:33:35,379 RACHEL: Emily, what's he doing? 617 00:33:35,482 --> 00:33:36,827 EMILY: Calum? 618 00:33:36,931 --> 00:33:39,482 - Sorry. - EMILY: Calum! 619 00:33:39,586 --> 00:33:41,965 - I'm sorry, guys. - [earpiece beeps off] 620 00:33:42,068 --> 00:33:43,655 - He's gone. - Calum? 621 00:33:43,758 --> 00:33:44,827 - He's gone. - Calum? 622 00:33:44,931 --> 00:33:46,931 [rats squeaking] 623 00:33:50,413 --> 00:33:53,137 - Calum? - [electronic chime] 624 00:33:53,241 --> 00:33:55,793 - Is he there? - His mic's off. 625 00:33:55,896 --> 00:33:56,862 EMILY: Are you sure it's not tactical? 626 00:33:56,965 --> 00:33:58,758 Yes, Emily, I'm sure. 627 00:33:58,862 --> 00:34:00,172 He's turned it off. He's offline. 628 00:34:00,275 --> 00:34:02,000 RACHEL: What? 629 00:34:02,103 --> 00:34:03,931 Rita, have you seen Calum? 630 00:34:04,034 --> 00:34:06,689 [Rita whistling] 631 00:34:06,793 --> 00:34:09,068 Rita? Her mic's off, too. 632 00:34:13,034 --> 00:34:14,413 [keys jangling] 633 00:34:14,517 --> 00:34:17,137 - Where you going? - Rachel, hold the fort. 634 00:34:17,241 --> 00:34:19,137 - Oh, shit. - TEJ: That can't be good. 635 00:34:19,241 --> 00:34:22,448 BELLA: Dad, where are you? We're on next. 636 00:34:22,551 --> 00:34:24,482 You promised me you were coming. 637 00:34:24,586 --> 00:34:26,689 Mum was right about you. 638 00:34:30,448 --> 00:34:31,655 Hello? Hello? 639 00:34:31,758 --> 00:34:33,931 Is anybody there? 640 00:34:34,034 --> 00:34:35,413 Hello? 641 00:34:35,517 --> 00:34:41,517 ♪ 642 00:34:51,689 --> 00:34:54,827 Fuck! Fucked it! 643 00:34:54,931 --> 00:34:57,655 [indistinct chatter, laughter] 644 00:34:57,758 --> 00:34:59,275 DAN: Is anyone else for red? 645 00:34:59,379 --> 00:35:02,413 [indistinct chatter] 646 00:35:04,655 --> 00:35:07,206 [chatter overlapping] 647 00:35:07,310 --> 00:35:10,275 [voices echoing and fading] 648 00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:13,862 [laughs] 649 00:35:13,965 --> 00:35:16,896 EMILY: You're my best friend. 650 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,517 I loved you. I loved you. 651 00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:21,620 [vehicle approaching] 652 00:35:22,827 --> 00:35:24,034 What happened? 653 00:35:24,137 --> 00:35:25,413 He just came out and drove off. 654 00:35:25,517 --> 00:35:27,827 I tried. 655 00:35:27,931 --> 00:35:29,724 Well, I can't go up on the roof. 656 00:35:29,827 --> 00:35:32,620 - Vertigo. - Knee replacement. 657 00:35:32,724 --> 00:35:33,793 What if someone finds the ladder? 658 00:35:33,896 --> 00:35:35,310 The rats? Fuck! 659 00:35:35,413 --> 00:35:37,379 Maybe he's just gone for a wee. 660 00:35:37,482 --> 00:35:39,103 Steve. Yeah, it's a Code 3. 661 00:35:39,206 --> 00:35:41,103 CALUM: Hiya, this is Calum. I'm not here right now. 662 00:35:41,206 --> 00:35:42,896 - Shit. - He's on his way. 663 00:35:44,448 --> 00:35:47,344 Tell him not to bother. Plan's off. 664 00:35:47,448 --> 00:35:50,551 Help me get the things out of there before someone finds it. 665 00:35:50,655 --> 00:35:52,517 RACHEL: Oh, my God, Tej. Code 3. 666 00:35:52,620 --> 00:35:53,862 - Steve? - STEVE: The plan 667 00:35:53,965 --> 00:35:55,379 is definitely not off. 668 00:35:55,482 --> 00:35:58,000 Tej, time for some wedding nostalgia. 669 00:35:58,103 --> 00:35:59,551 On it. Switching music. 670 00:35:59,655 --> 00:36:01,517 [light pop music stops playing] 671 00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:04,482 [soft orchestral music plays] 672 00:36:04,586 --> 00:36:08,931 ♪ 673 00:36:09,034 --> 00:36:10,758 - Next. - [music stops] 674 00:36:10,862 --> 00:36:12,655 [computer beeps, soft orchestral music resumes] 675 00:36:12,758 --> 00:36:14,551 EMILY: You took my Dan, 676 00:36:14,655 --> 00:36:17,034 my job, and my home. 677 00:36:17,137 --> 00:36:18,620 Next. Next! 678 00:36:18,724 --> 00:36:20,862 - [music stops] - [laughter] 679 00:36:20,965 --> 00:36:22,965 [speaker beeps, soft orchestral music resumes] 680 00:36:23,068 --> 00:36:24,275 Focus, you little shit. 681 00:36:24,379 --> 00:36:25,862 How many cupcakes have you had? 682 00:36:25,965 --> 00:36:28,931 ♪ 683 00:36:29,034 --> 00:36:30,793 You get the ladder. I'll grab the rats. 684 00:36:30,896 --> 00:36:32,827 [grunts] Fuck! 685 00:36:32,931 --> 00:36:35,482 You okay? 686 00:36:35,586 --> 00:36:37,172 - [music stops and resumes] - Next! 687 00:36:37,275 --> 00:36:40,689 [Charlotte chuckles] Next! 688 00:36:40,793 --> 00:36:44,965 - Next! Next! Next! - [music continues playing] 689 00:36:45,068 --> 00:36:48,689 EMILY: You conniving, fucking two-faced cow. 690 00:36:50,931 --> 00:36:53,379 - Charlotte? - MAN: She all right? 691 00:36:53,482 --> 00:36:55,068 Uh... 692 00:36:55,172 --> 00:36:57,000 TEJ: Result. Target has left the room. 693 00:36:57,103 --> 00:36:59,275 - Holding the fort. - Switching lights. 694 00:36:59,379 --> 00:37:02,413 [hyperventilating] 695 00:37:05,206 --> 00:37:07,724 [gasps] 696 00:37:07,827 --> 00:37:13,827 ♪ 697 00:37:15,482 --> 00:37:17,793 [screams] 698 00:37:29,862 --> 00:37:32,034 Oh, hello! You all look a bit sad. 699 00:37:32,137 --> 00:37:35,241 Why don't you come in here, have a drink, and celebrate? 700 00:37:35,344 --> 00:37:36,620 Are you taking the piss? 701 00:37:36,724 --> 00:37:38,517 - No. - Check it out. 702 00:37:40,586 --> 00:37:42,517 DAN: Charlotte, calm down. 703 00:37:42,620 --> 00:37:44,620 - Charlotte... - CHARLOTTE: I can't, Dan! 704 00:37:44,724 --> 00:37:46,344 She's haunting me! 705 00:37:46,448 --> 00:37:47,965 DAN: Charlotte, you're exhausted. 706 00:37:48,068 --> 00:37:50,103 CHARLOTTE: No, you can't outrun your shadow. 707 00:37:50,206 --> 00:37:51,931 DAN: Listen to yourself. You sound-- 708 00:37:52,034 --> 00:37:53,379 Emily is not haunting us! 709 00:37:53,482 --> 00:37:55,310 Dan, I'm not staying here! No way! 710 00:37:55,413 --> 00:37:57,034 Tomorrow, we start looking for houses. 711 00:37:57,137 --> 00:37:58,758 But tonight, a hotel. Grab the baby. 712 00:37:58,862 --> 00:38:00,241 DAN: Please, Charlotte, you need to calm down. 713 00:38:00,344 --> 00:38:01,724 CHARLOTTE: No! You need to listen! 714 00:38:01,827 --> 00:38:03,482 This is karma! We deserve this! 715 00:38:03,586 --> 00:38:05,344 Times five. Times 50. 716 00:38:05,448 --> 00:38:07,310 - Times forever! - BOTH: "Times forever!" 717 00:38:07,413 --> 00:38:09,931 DAN: No, Charlotte! [angrily exclaims] 718 00:38:10,034 --> 00:38:12,379 [both mockingly exclaim] 719 00:38:12,482 --> 00:38:13,965 TEJ: They've completely lost their minds. 720 00:38:14,068 --> 00:38:15,758 - Play it again. - RACHEL: Here, have a drink. 721 00:38:15,862 --> 00:38:17,965 Have a drink, babe. 722 00:38:18,068 --> 00:38:20,517 DAN: Charlotte, calm down. 723 00:38:20,620 --> 00:38:21,896 - Charlotte. - I can't, Dan! 724 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,206 She's haunting me. 725 00:38:23,310 --> 00:38:25,103 DAN: Charlotte, you're exhausted! 726 00:38:25,206 --> 00:38:26,965 CHARLOTTE: No, you can't outrun your shadow! 727 00:38:27,068 --> 00:38:30,000 Steve, you are a genius. 728 00:38:30,103 --> 00:38:31,206 Now, I wouldn't go that far. 729 00:38:31,310 --> 00:38:33,275 I'm not staying here! No way! Tomorrow, 730 00:38:33,379 --> 00:38:35,413 we start looking for houses. But tonight, a hotel. 731 00:38:35,517 --> 00:38:37,448 Grab the baby! 732 00:38:37,551 --> 00:38:39,517 Oh, my God. We did it. 733 00:38:39,620 --> 00:38:42,206 - [laughter] - Cheers. 734 00:38:42,310 --> 00:38:44,482 We... we fucking did it. 735 00:38:44,586 --> 00:38:47,793 [cheering, glasses clinking] 736 00:38:47,896 --> 00:38:49,551 CHARLOTTE: Dan, I'm not staying here, no way! 737 00:38:49,655 --> 00:38:51,827 Tomorrow, we start looking for houses. 738 00:38:51,931 --> 00:38:53,275 RITA: Go on. Do the noise. 739 00:38:53,379 --> 00:38:54,689 - Do it again. - Okay, do it. 740 00:38:54,793 --> 00:38:56,000 - Go on, it's so funny. - Do it. 741 00:38:56,103 --> 00:38:58,724 - [mocking Dan] Aah! - [laughter] 742 00:38:58,827 --> 00:39:00,103 I still can't believe we actually did it. 743 00:39:00,206 --> 00:39:02,275 STEVE: Yeah, they so got what they deserve. 744 00:39:02,379 --> 00:39:05,034 - RITA: She was brilliant. - [knock at door] 745 00:39:05,137 --> 00:39:06,655 RITA: But honestly, you really got to her. 746 00:39:06,758 --> 00:39:08,034 RACHEL: I loved it. 747 00:39:08,137 --> 00:39:10,137 STEVE: "You can't escape your shadow." 748 00:39:10,241 --> 00:39:11,517 What the fuck happened to you? 749 00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:13,344 Sorry. Bella-- 750 00:39:13,448 --> 00:39:15,068 [chatter in background] 751 00:39:15,172 --> 00:39:16,827 What the fuck happened to you? 752 00:39:16,931 --> 00:39:18,379 Revenge. 753 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:22,931 Fuck? 754 00:39:23,034 --> 00:39:24,724 - EMILY: Look who it is. - RACHEL: Hi. 755 00:39:24,827 --> 00:39:26,379 - STEVE: Ohh... - RITA: Hey. 756 00:39:26,482 --> 00:39:28,413 STEVE: Come and have a seat. 757 00:39:30,862 --> 00:39:32,379 - It worked? - Yes, it worked. 758 00:39:32,482 --> 00:39:33,655 RITA: Didn't need the rats in the end. 759 00:39:33,758 --> 00:39:35,793 STEVE: Definitely worked. 760 00:39:35,896 --> 00:39:37,896 - You fuck. - [laughter] 761 00:39:40,172 --> 00:39:42,586 STEVE: Well, now we're all here... 762 00:39:42,689 --> 00:39:45,310 million-dollar question. 763 00:39:45,413 --> 00:39:48,586 Whose ex is up next? 764 00:39:48,689 --> 00:39:54,655 ♪ 765 00:39:57,965 --> 00:40:00,172 Oh... wait. What? 766 00:40:00,275 --> 00:40:03,310 Can it be my ex? Please. 767 00:40:03,413 --> 00:40:04,862 She deserves a taste of this. 768 00:40:06,827 --> 00:40:10,206 Y-You're kidding... right? 769 00:40:10,310 --> 00:40:12,724 I mean, this was a one-off. 770 00:40:14,551 --> 00:40:18,206 - A one-off, no? - Although... 771 00:40:18,310 --> 00:40:21,068 it does feel a bit unfair. 772 00:40:21,172 --> 00:40:25,413 You know, I mean, I get my little revenge. 773 00:40:25,517 --> 00:40:27,827 Shouldn't you all get yours? 774 00:40:27,931 --> 00:40:29,724 Exactly. 775 00:40:29,827 --> 00:40:32,206 Guys, we're supposed to be healing. 776 00:40:34,241 --> 00:40:36,965 Divorce Circle is about us letting go 777 00:40:37,068 --> 00:40:40,000 of our anger and resentment. 778 00:40:40,103 --> 00:40:42,758 Move on with grace. 779 00:40:42,862 --> 00:40:44,724 That's just words. 780 00:40:44,827 --> 00:40:48,000 Pretty vowels and consonants strung together 781 00:40:48,103 --> 00:40:52,068 to tell us to roll over while our exes win. 782 00:40:55,068 --> 00:40:57,827 But anger... 783 00:40:57,931 --> 00:41:02,793 used in the right way, that's power. 784 00:41:02,896 --> 00:41:06,862 And it's also the only language some fuckers understand. 785 00:41:09,586 --> 00:41:11,068 Well, I hate to be the bubble buster, 786 00:41:11,172 --> 00:41:13,758 but we're basically a pound shop Ocean's Eleven. 787 00:41:13,862 --> 00:41:16,793 Mate, we don't have to be. 788 00:41:18,482 --> 00:41:19,827 What are you thinking? 789 00:41:19,931 --> 00:41:22,379 I'm thinking we help each other out. 790 00:41:22,482 --> 00:41:24,620 Strangers On a Train style. 791 00:41:24,724 --> 00:41:27,068 - I love that film. - I've got more cameras. 792 00:41:27,172 --> 00:41:28,517 CALUM: Wait. 793 00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:30,275 You want us to kill each other's exes? 794 00:41:30,379 --> 00:41:32,448 No, mate, you've been watching too much telly. 795 00:41:32,551 --> 00:41:34,482 It's not murder on demand. 796 00:41:34,586 --> 00:41:36,068 - Pity. - STEVE: What? 797 00:41:38,241 --> 00:41:40,137 Kidding. 798 00:41:40,241 --> 00:41:42,689 Although... 799 00:41:42,793 --> 00:41:46,586 if the six of us pool all our resources... 800 00:41:46,689 --> 00:41:48,931 we could do some serious damage. 801 00:41:49,034 --> 00:41:51,344 Mm-hmm. 802 00:41:51,448 --> 00:41:53,620 You're all nuts. 803 00:41:53,724 --> 00:41:57,034 This whole... weird assortment, we... 804 00:41:57,137 --> 00:41:58,206 we barely even know each other. 805 00:41:58,310 --> 00:41:59,965 Exactly. 806 00:42:02,310 --> 00:42:03,724 Exactly. 807 00:42:05,758 --> 00:42:07,689 To revenge. 808 00:42:07,793 --> 00:42:11,241 AKA, "how losers become winners." 809 00:42:13,206 --> 00:42:14,724 Okay, well, if we're gonna do this, 810 00:42:14,827 --> 00:42:16,103 you're gonna have to be less of a wanker. 811 00:42:16,206 --> 00:42:19,310 - No offense. - None taken. 812 00:42:19,413 --> 00:42:22,241 Do you know what? All right. 813 00:42:23,896 --> 00:42:26,620 'Cause hearts don't break, they rebrand. 814 00:42:26,724 --> 00:42:32,379 ♪ 815 00:42:32,482 --> 00:42:34,068 - Revengers... - [chuckling] 816 00:42:34,172 --> 00:42:36,344 ALL: To revenge. 817 00:42:38,551 --> 00:42:41,551 [hammer pounding] 818 00:42:45,413 --> 00:42:46,827 Calum! 819 00:42:46,931 --> 00:42:49,931 [hammering continues] 820 00:42:53,068 --> 00:42:54,379 Calum? 821 00:42:56,068 --> 00:42:58,586 Calum! 822 00:42:58,689 --> 00:43:00,551 What are you doing here? 823 00:43:00,655 --> 00:43:02,241 Thought you didn't like heights. 824 00:43:02,344 --> 00:43:05,758 Yeah, um, I just... 825 00:43:05,862 --> 00:43:08,689 I just came up to say thank you. 826 00:43:08,793 --> 00:43:10,931 What for? I let you down. 827 00:43:11,034 --> 00:43:13,137 But for Bella. I get it. 828 00:43:18,137 --> 00:43:21,137 - Are you okay? - Mm-hmm. 829 00:43:21,241 --> 00:43:23,758 Whoa, whoa, whoa! [laughs] 830 00:43:23,862 --> 00:43:25,275 Easy. 831 00:43:26,586 --> 00:43:32,586 ♪ 832 00:43:39,172 --> 00:43:41,551 We really gonna do this? 833 00:43:41,655 --> 00:43:43,862 Do what? 834 00:43:43,965 --> 00:43:46,206 Revenge. 835 00:43:46,310 --> 00:43:49,068 I mean... 836 00:43:49,172 --> 00:43:52,206 it's just a bit of fun, right? 837 00:43:52,310 --> 00:43:53,551 What harm could it do? 838 00:43:53,655 --> 00:43:56,379 ♪ 839 00:43:56,482 --> 00:43:59,724 Nobody was supposed to get hurt. 840 00:43:59,827 --> 00:44:02,827 Yeah, but they did. Didn't they? 841 00:44:05,482 --> 00:44:08,241 So tell me, Emily, how exactly did 842 00:44:08,344 --> 00:44:11,068 your little healing circle turn you into a killer? 843 00:44:11,172 --> 00:44:14,724 ♪ 844 00:44:14,827 --> 00:44:16,310 Is that what you think I am? 845 00:44:16,413 --> 00:44:22,413 ♪ 846 00:44:27,689 --> 00:44:31,000 Divorce is no less painful than the death of a person. 847 00:44:31,103 --> 00:44:32,551 CALUM: Are we just fucked now? 848 00:44:32,655 --> 00:44:34,241 Are we just, like, damaged goods? 849 00:44:34,344 --> 00:44:35,965 TEJ: Well, if you want someone to behave like a dick 850 00:44:36,068 --> 00:44:38,827 in public, anxiolytic. total disinhibitor. 851 00:44:38,931 --> 00:44:41,137 - Somebody spiked him. - Can't afford any loose ends. 852 00:44:41,241 --> 00:44:42,896 We can't afford to get caught! 853 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:48,034 I want him to feel just an ounce of what he's put me through. 854 00:44:48,137 --> 00:44:49,655 You think these grieving people 855 00:44:49,758 --> 00:44:51,172 suddenly became master criminals? 856 00:44:51,275 --> 00:44:57,206 ♪